i hate to complain so much but i really have had better months, minus the epic birthday week that was the only time i laughed so hard and smiled so hard since things went to shit. i still don't have a job and my unemployment checks are only about a third of what i thought i'd make, hardly enough to live on. the kicker is i haven't even recieved one yet, i've only been approved. i'm trapped in my house because my last two paychecks from the spa have finally fun out so i have no gas in my car and i currently only have two cigarettes and am going on day three of not smoking. i'm on the edge of freaking the fuck out twenty four hours a day and had a mini freakout around five this morning when there was a mouse crawling around in my bed. i snapped. cried. threw my blankets across the room and also my cat, onto my bed to try and catch the little fuck. i ended up crawling into my mom's bed like i was five because i refused and still refuse to sleep in my bed now.
i need something to make me smile. like i mean it. i want to laugh til i'm crying because my face hurts. i need a change and for something good to happen. i want to stop being miserable and fighting off crying all day.
i should really stop complaining. i'm starting to feel like a pain in the ass.
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